it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize