I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
dude. I can hear the air.
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