in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize