we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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