p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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