Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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