I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
