1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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