Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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