the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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