I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
