i think my mom watched the whole time
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
