I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
