I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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