i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
