That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
