i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
