she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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