i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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