there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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