We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
