I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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