Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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