I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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