Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
