I want to have your abortion
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
