I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she looked like the before picture.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
