he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
