I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
