bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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