A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
