You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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