Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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