I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's blow job season.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
