4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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