Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
