I heard we made out
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize