if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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