Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
