I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
