I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize