Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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