you would pick up someone in the library
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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