You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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