she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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