I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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