Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
