How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
