yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize