Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
