You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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