So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
