honey bunches of taint.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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