i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
