It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
