Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
