The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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