Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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