So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
