She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
