is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
