wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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