She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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