Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
