I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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