Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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