I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
