I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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