Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
