i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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