You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
