More tranny stories later!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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